‘Things only grow in the valley, not on the mountain top’

My Coach, Geoff, told me the above words the other day when I was feeling a bit low and sorry for myself.  My phone bill was unpaid so I could only get incoming calls and my car was off the road as it was untaxed, other bills were piling up ……… so I was very much in a deep valley with the only view being more of what I had and that’s when things changed.  He reminded me that I was growing as a person and that everything that was is a result of what had gone before.  Now I knew that from having watched The Secret but I didn’t know how to get out of the depression and negativity!  It just wasn’t me. 

My friend Caroline is a Heart Centred Therapist – she told me that I was going to have a major breakthrough and although I didn’t quite understand her at the time, looking back she was so right!

She told me I still wasn’t being true to myself and doing things that were really from my heart.  Geoff had told me the same things.  At first I resisted their words – of course I was doing things from my heart – I loved what I was doing……………. didn’t I?

But, she said ‘What are you doing?  How many things are you doing?’

I said, ‘I am doing things I love’.

‘So, why are you so miserable?’ she said

I don’t know, maybe I am just tired.  I’ve had some very late nights recently so perhaps I’m just a bit run down.’  I replied 

Susan, you’re my friend and I am telling you as a friend that you just aren’t being true to yourself.  You are not showing anyone who you really are or doing things from your heart!’ she said lovingly to me.  Ouch, that hurt.

So after talking together until the early hours her words finally sunk in.  The result was such a big mental shift that I started working on Phoenix CAN’s website and it’s beginning to take shape.

In My Story I quote Marianne Williamson’s words in her book “A Return to Love”:

‘You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. 

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel

insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.   

 We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. 

 It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give

other people permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

‘I had argued that I preferred to promote other people rather than myself but she told me that once people knew the real me and what I could do, then my life would really change.  So, now I am sharing with you something about the real me.  

After reading the book, The Passion Test,  a few weeks I wrote on my index card: 

LIFE IS IDEAL BECAUSE:

1.            I am living in a beautiful house in a paradise

2.       I travel, make inspiring films and write inspiring books, meeting inspiring people

3.            I have wonderful relationships with my friends, family and husband (I’m still single, by the way)

4.            I am honoured and loved for the good I do and respected for the love I show myself and others

5.            I am fit and healthy and look at least 20 years younger

Yet, I was doing nothing to make the above desires a reality.  By not allowing my own light to shine, I was not being very inspiring to anyone else.  My close friends want me to succeed – they want me to inspire them so I really had to look at what was holding me back and yes, it was that dear old word “Fear”.

Talk about synchronicity!  Only this week I read some of Susan Jeffers’ book “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” and her newsletter about fear.  I was afraid of:

·        Being exposed

·        Being successful

·        Being a failure

·        Being happy

·        Being in demand for my services

·        Being better of financially

I’m sure I could add to the above list.  I now have much more energy and enthusiasm, despite another late night and the money is now coming in so I can pay my bills.So, never forget – Coaches, Inspirational & Motivational Speakers, Teachers and others you look up to are only human.  The difference between those who are good and those who are brilliant is that they speak from the heart as my friend Caroline does and as I am beginning to – will you?     

Self Esteem

Believe it or not, you are a remarkably strong individual who has the capability to battle with demons and conquer the world, but more often than not, it is your own self confidence that brings you down.

That nagging voice in the back of your head that questions your actions, criticises your looks, and doubts your self worth can bring you, no matter how successful or powerful you have been, to your knees.

Instead of falling prey to low self esteem, do something about it! Strive to break the cycle of feeling poorly about yourself, not doing anything about it, and then feeling worse

Sadly, a major problem with the self esteem is when we listen to the opinions of others. Instead of fully supporting, complimenting, and boosting your spirits, so-called friends and even family members can be mean spirited often because of how they feel.

Back biting, gossiping, and cruel remarks seem to run rampant, especially amongst women friends, family, and colleagues. Although men do their fair share too. If you find yourself in such a situation with another person that is detrimental to your own sense of self worth and self esteem, find a way to resolve the situation.

Perhaps all that is needed by you is to speak about your feelings to the friend or relation who is saying hurtful things or to a co-worker who always points out the negative aspects of your work.

Quite often, these individuals suffer from low self esteem themselves and use a defensive or derisive attitude in order to compensate. Be mindful of this behavior next time your friends, family, or co-workers are discussing another person and be careful not to fall into the same negative mindset. By setting a good example, you will influence others in addition to helping your own self esteem.

Many women have some sort of issues with their body or physical appearance. Regardless how beautiful a woman is, there is always a voice is dissent regarding one or more physical attribute. The thing is that men have issues about their physique too – perhaps they consider themselves to be too thin, too fat, too much hair, not enough hair, too short, ugly, have a big nose or a small penis, or even one that is very big. It’s not just the youngsters who worry about their looks.

How can the average man or woman look as good as Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt? Even many of the women and men society deems beautiful have issues with their bodies, which is often spotlighted in the media. World famous models, actors and actresses agonize over their weight, height, or looks especially as their living depends on them.

Instead of looking at yourself in a harsh, negative light, turn your attitude around. Think about your positive attributes instead of ones you wish you could change. Start loving yourself …. warts and all and others will too. This doesn’t mean constantly making fun of yourself or putting yourself down in any way.

Use these positive attributes to your advantage. Instead of wishing you could wear certain types of clothing, embrace the styles that fit and flatter your body. Self esteem is one of the best things anyone can possess and it makes you look better in the eyes of everyone else. Confidence is like a magnet – it attracts people to you with the hope that some of it will rub off on them. When you are confident others can be too.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking material items can make you feel better about yourself. You can indulge yourself with an extravagant or expensive item a designer pair of shoes or expensive car will not fix what is wrong on the inside.

No matter what you purchase, that shopping spree you just indulged on will most likely cause yourself greater self esteem woes. It is a vicious cycle, feeling poorly about yourself, making outrageous purchases, then feeling even worse about yourself because of the surmounting bills and needless items.

Instead of heading to your local mall, hit the library or this website and check out the self-help section. You may find a book that has a great starting point for boosting your self esteem. Better still, look out for our Introductory Workshops and Seminars.

Money cannot buy you love or happiness, so why should you think it can buy you self esteem? Keep a positive outlook on life and you will lead a positive life. Break away from negative influences and work to surround yourself with positive individuals who will positively influence your life.

You are a great person – WHEN are you going to start believing it? Try a bit of coaching and see how you change.